During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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