I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
