but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
