D3 body, D1 cock
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
