I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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