apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
is wine microwaveable?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
