Im at strip club and am horny
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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