even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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