He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
