Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
