Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I need to sanitize my soul.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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