I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
