this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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