the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
