i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
