cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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