Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
