Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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