girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
