Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
