She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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