I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
