I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
