I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
