i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
