I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
