I think i peed on brittanys purse
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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