Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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