dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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