Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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