Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
