Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Jerry, you need to find god
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
