naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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