If i come over, it means nothing
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
