He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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