Porn is love you can see.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
