And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
