I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
