I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
