I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
