remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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