Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
