Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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