No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
