somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
