The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
