Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found puke in my bra..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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