I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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