i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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