We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
